Feeling Defeated?

Yesterday started off as a great day! I had a day full of writing planned, but quickly, my day spiraled into defeat.

My son was suspended for writing graffiti on the walls at school. The school is one of the best schools in my state, but filled with bullying, and drugs and with those issues, the school seems not to care. Writing on the wall, & I'm not justifying it, got my son a suspension. I would have preferred detention or extra work. I let the dean know my thoughts on this in a not-so-nice way.

I grounded my son and gave him a book to read. He was defiant, and wanted to watch Youtube and Netflix. He wanted to go to his dad's. Being in a divorced family, kids use this as leverage.

By evening the fighting between us escalated. I doubted my ability to raise my kids. Ironically, less than a week after posting about no longer having guilt for how I raised them!! I used all my tools available to get myself out of that guilt space.

My anger took over & I told my son he could live with his dad if he didn't want to do the work to get sober. Then a fight with his dad, who didn't want to take him in like he had done with our older son.

Last night I gave up, on my son, and myself. I was not kind to those around me. Another irony given my post yesterday.

Today I remind myself of my own message:

Everyday Being is about waking up every day and deciding who you want to be. Each day, every one of us will strive to be the perfect person of ourselves, you get to decide who that is for you. Sometimes you will fail, and that’s okay! Because at each failure you will learn more about yourself, be more aware of the amazing person you are, and become a better version of yourself tomorrow.

Why do I share this with you? Because that's what life is about, there are great days, and some not. I have so many more great days than not. & I know how to start over today.

Here's to another day.